Peer Pressure

What Is Peer Pressure?
When people influence the way their peers believe, think or act, it's called "peer pressure." Your children's peers are the people they identify with most - usually kids in their own age group. As children and teens become more independent, peer groups naturally replace the family as the center of their activities.

Signs & Symptoms
Peer influence becomes a problem when it sways kids toward behaviors that can hurt them or get them in trouble with the law. Pressure from their friends can even move kids away from what they know is right or acceptable to something that unacceptable just because "everyone else does it." Examples include drinking, doing drugs, smoking, bullying, skipping school, criminal activities or getting involved with a gang.

Who's at Risk?
Everyone experiences peer pressure, even adults. But adolescents between 11 and 17 are most likely to be influenced by what their peers think, say and do. Peer influence increases as kids get older, then declines and they become more independent. Other factors that may play a role:

• Low self-esteem
• Lack of supervision from parents
• Friends who are not positive role models
• Few rules or limits at home
• Distant family relationships

Professional Help
You can expect teens to change, trying on new looks, hairstyles - even different identities. But if the change is too drastic or long-lasting, you might need to get professional help.  Parents should watch for signs that something serious is wrong, including:

• Extreme weight gain or loss
• Problems sleeping
• Dramatic or abrupt personality change
• A sudden new circle of friends
• Skipping school often; grades falling off
• Talk of suicide; joking about it
• Signs of smoking, alcohol or drug use
• Getting in trouble with the law

Priority Health members can check here for information on getting mental health assistance.

What You Can Do
While parents can't minimize the influence of peers, they can provide a foundation of strong beliefs and values and encourage kids to seek out peers involved in positive academic and social activities. To help your kids deal with negative peer pressure, you can:

• Get close to them; get to know their friends and friends' parents
• Provide rules, set limits
• Encourage individuality and independence
• Talk about peer pressure
• Talk about dangers of risky behaviors and talk about how to avoid risky situations
• Teach them how to say no
• Know where they are, what they're doing and who they're with
• Praise them for good behavior
• Provide them with opportunities to be good role models to others
• Encourage friendships with positive role models
• Let your kids know it's OK to ask for adult help