Bullying

What Is Bullying?
Bullies are people who are deliberately aggressive toward those they see as weak or vulnerable. Their behavior is usually ongoing. Bullies can abuse others physically, verbally or through intimidation, such as by excluding them from social situations. Cyberbullies use the internet to pick on their victims.

Bullying is a widespread problem in the U.S., with about 30% of children and teens saying they've bullied others, have been targets of bullying or both.

Signs & Symptoms
Bullies thrive on having control over others. They pick on kids who seem passive, easily intimidated or have few friends. Their victims also may have trouble defending themselves because they're younger or smaller. Some signs of bullying:

• Teasing others constantly
• Blaming others for own shortcomings
• Often making others feel bad
• Displaying agressive behavior toward others
• Having friends who also are bullies

Victims may not always show obvious physical signs of being bulllied. Here some are less-telling signs to look for:

• Avoiding school with vague complaints like headaches or stomachaches
• Sleep problems
• Missing belongings or money
• Irritability
• Bedwetting
• Lack of concentration
• Problems with schoolwork

Who's at Risk?
Bullying is fairly equal among boys and girls, although boys tend to bully people physically, while girls more often dish out verbal abuse or use intimidation tactics. Bullies probably have friends who are also bullies. Children and teens who bully are more likely than non-bullies to live in homes where:

• Parents are not involved in their activities.
• Few limits are put on their behavior.
• There is little supervision.
• Discipline is harsh and/or physical.
• The adults in the home exhibit bullying behavior.

Professional Help
Bullies can end up with serious academic, social, emotional -- even legal -- problems if adults don't step in. If you think your child is bullying others, you may need to get help. Talk to your child's doctor or a mental health professional. An evaluation can help you and your child understand the causes of bullying behavior and develop a plan to stop it.

Priority Health members can check here for information on getting mental health assistance.

What You Can Do
If you think your child may be bullying others, here are some things you can do:

• Make sure you have clear, consistent rules with appropriate, non-physical consequences for breaking them. Offer praise for following the rules.
• Be clear that bullying is serious behavior that you do not tolerate.
• Spend time with your child. Supervise or monitor her activities. Know who her friends are and what they do in their spare time.
• Help your child get involved in meaningful activities that make the most of his talents and interests.
• Work with your child's teacher, counselor or principal on ways to curb bullying behavior.

If your child is being bullied, it can can have long-lasting effects on how he or she builds relationships later in life. It can even lead to problems like drug or alcohol abuse and depression. Some things you can do to help your child deal with bullying:

• Ask her to tell you about it. Listen and be supportive.
• Don't encourage him to fight back. Bullies usually are looking for this kind of response. Suggest walking away or getting help from a teacher or other adult.
• Help your child practice being assertive.
• Encourage use of the buddy system. Bullies are less likely to attack groups.
• Ask your school about adopting programs for conflict resolution, peer mediation and anger management.